About Your Libido

About Your Libido

When we mention the term "libido", we usually think of sexual desire, also known as sex drive. It's very individual and it varies from person to person. Hormone levels, health condition, lifestyle, and problems with the partner can influence libido. Usually, couples experience periods when they have lots of sex and fun, and then this dynamic gradually decreases. Today's demanding life can also negatively affect libido, leaving people too tired to have some fun in the bedroom.

What is the normal libido?

Since the term "normal libido" is very subjective, there's no one perfect libido for everyone. Some people make love every day, and it's good for them, while others have sexual relationships twice or once a week, and it's also normal according to their lifestyle. The frequency of having sex depends on how much time you can devote to it and whether you want it.

Why do you have a low sex drive?

It's normal when libido changes, going up and down. Throughout life, people's desires for sex also change. The reason why you feel not interested in sex or masturbation might be different, and in some cases, you might need professional help from either doctors or psychologists. You can also have sincere communication with the partner and try to find a way out of the situation together.

The main reasons for having lowered sexual desire are:

  • Health issues
  • Sexual dysfunction
  • Pregnancy and breastfeeding
  • Menopause
  • Unpleasant feelings during sex
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Not having enough time for sex
  • Exhaustion and tiredness after work
  • Relationship issues
  • Having too much stress
  • Depression
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Sexual traumas
  • Excessive alcohol consumption, drug use, and smoking
  • Sexual turn-offs and boredom

Speaking about the last factor, you can easily fix it by bringing something fresh to your interaction with the partner. Your libido might go up if you experience new and unexpected changes in your lover's appearance, style, and behavior. What might help you a lot is incorporating role-playing, either with or without elements of BDSM.

How can role-playing improve your libido?

Role-playing helps to create an alternate reality that allows you to leave your everyday self and take on different roles. Engaging in creative scenarios, you can discover much more about yourself and see your partner from a new perspective. Role-playing may involve dressing up in costumes, acting out roles like doctors and patients, parents and children, teachers and students, police officers and criminals, dominant and submissive. It may incorporate some additional accessories like blindfolds, hoods, cuffs, bed restraints, harnesses, mouth gags, spreader bars, spanking paddles. Due to role-playing, individuals have a chance to express themselves sexually in a new way, create a deeper bond with their partner, improve communication, and trust.

Incorporating elements of role-play or BDSM dynamic, partners step outside their comfort zone and break the boring routine. These activities help to try on new power dynamics. Reserved persons may feel how it's to be a boss or a dominant, while self-confident partners who used to be leaders in their life might try a submissive role.

Role-play in sex breaks down boundaries, taboos, and improves communication. Since every role-playing demands communication and setting up the limits of how far you can go, you have a chance to learn more about your lover's needs and desires. More sincere and open communication before and during sex can be a huge step towards a more satisfying experience and higher libido.

Where should you start?

Exploring kinks, fetishes, BDSM scenarios, or just trying new positions can enhance your intimate relationships. You may start with incorporating some elements of BDSM: light bondage with the help of a scarf, restraining hands with cuffs, or spanking with a cane. Both of you may take turns in giving and fulfilling commands, starting from something simple like preparing the bath or using special language, and then trying elements of praise, punishment, or humiliation.

For a more realistic setting, you can grab some costumes, depending on a chosen scenario: fancy dresses, diapers, mitts, booties, latex suits and lingerie, leather masks, harnesses. This outfit will increase the visual presentation of your image and thus improve your partner's passion. For romantic individuals, it might be interesting to try some wax play using safe soy candles, erotic full-body or foot massage, and sex with a blindfold in a new place. However, keep in mind that sexual fantasies you're going to embody in real life must align with your values and be approved by your partner.

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